Kao

Bridgeport Mentality

2009-04-10T07:53:00.001-05:00

The Reader

2009-03-01T10:30:00.003-06:00

Yuck. I get depressed when I read this blog. I have gotten more emotional and wiser in the last few years. I've been hurt. I've grown up. I've become a terrible writer.

I saw the Reader last night. I didn't realize that it was going to be about the Holocaust. I think I must've heard about Revolutionary Road and mixed them up.

I loved it. I loved David Kross and am a bit perturbed that he is only 18. Makes me feel old and perverse. I knew he was a Cancer as soon as I saw his face in the movie. Kate Winslet was great and the unlikely love quickly became believable to me. I just read as much as I could find on Kross (nothing!) and saw that he learned English to play the part! That is incredible! He was well-spoken and expressive and clearly Oscar-worthy himself.

Now, I am going to write a song called "Kristy Dreams of Crepes" to rival Broken Social Scene's Ibi Dreams of Pavement.

Laughing

2009-02-22T12:48:00.001-06:00

I'm laughing at my last post where I say that the budget is unlimited. October seems like a world away from today.

California Dreamin'

2008-10-11T18:21:00.002-05:00

I am going to LA in less than two weeks. I'm flying into LAX, then staying in B. HIlls and Woodland Hills. What do we think? Fun things going to happen? Ideas? The budget is currently unlimited.

I Hate YouTube.

2008-01-17T21:43:00.000-06:00

Am I the only person in the world who hates YouTube? My younger brother (21) is so disracted by this effing site, that whenever we are chatting online, he interjects with a YouTube link. This tells me two things:

1) I know that IM chatting is informal, but my brother must be so disinterested in what I am saying that he has to watch a YouTube video while I am asking him about school. A British advertisement or older lady dancing to a rap song is far more important than me.
And 2) The person posting the YouTube link on their blog, myspace profile, or as a link in an IM or e-mail is PROVING to me that they spend a lot of time on YouTube looking for videos that they think I would like. Thanks, but I do just fine rotting my brain with my own tools on my own time.

I'd like undivided attention during our weekly five-minute chat. Curiosity never gets the best of me, and I have never clicked your YouTube link. I have never seen anything educational - let me take that back - I've never seen anything that's even been a step above PURE SMUT on YouTube. Read a book.

Self-Improvement Project: Take One

2007-05-29T21:03:00.000-05:00

1. Drink only water and coffee. 16 oz of coffee in the morning and water ONLY throughout the rest of the day. Absolutely no exceptions.

2. Do not listen to any sick, sad music.

That's all for now. Let's see if I can do it.

Macbook

2007-05-15T19:04:00.000-05:00

So, I have a new publisher program on my new Macbook called iWeb (what else would it be called?) that helps me create blogs. It is kind of pointless since you need a .Mac account to post to your .Mac site in order to utilize it fully.

Anyway, I am unsure as to whether or not I like my new computer. It is almost exactly like my old iBook even though my iBook is four years old - which is kind of daunting, since I was expecting an all new and updated Apple experience. I would like to think that there would have been more upgrades and features.

This is sick

2007-01-03T12:10:00.000-06:00

But I was thinking that if I were to plan on having a kid - I mean really plan and think it through (which is duhhhhhh ideal anyway) - I would try to pick the kid's sign. Yep, it's wrong, but I don't care. My mom is perfect for me. She's a Leo and I think it has a lot to do w/ my positive upbringing. Only more recently has she become more critical and negative, but I think it has to do w/ the fact that she worries about me & her ascending sign is Scorpio. I'm not going to really talk about my dad being a Gem cuz most of you already know how I feel about Gems in general. I will say, however, that air feeds fire and I can see how that works in the context of our relationship. So, here's my breakdown by sign regarding my opening sentence:

Aries - nah, i'd miss them too much when they're travelling.
Taurus - absolutely not
Gemini - no way. especially not a male
Cancer - no way. they'd either hate me or love me and I cant' deal with that
Leo - surely even though they'd have to be the center of attention at all times.
Virgo - no. too negative and critical for me.
Libra - top choice for sure
Scorpio - no
Sagittarius - of course
Capricorn - top pick of the earth signs
Aquarius - Yes. I just love air signs. I can't help it.
Pisces - natural enemy. no way.

I think the best combo would be a Libra male child and an Aquarius female child. I don't think I could handle having a Libra female who is a materialist.

anyway, I also did my chart on another site (astro.com) and it said my ascending sign is Scorpio. I was born @ 5:27AM and I would have had to have been born a couple hours later or earlier in order to have ascending Sag or Libra. So long story short, the explanation I read on astro about ascending Scorpio is much more like me than I had originally had read in Jeff Prince's report. I think that living w/ two Scorps bring out the Scorp in me a lot, too.

Year in Review

2006-12-27T15:49:00.000-06:00

(1) What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
+ graduated from a university with a Bachelor of Arts degree

(2) Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
+ Yes. I have been poignantly optimistic most of this year.

(3) What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
+Some sort of roughly outlined life plan. I’m working on that now.

(4) Where did you travel?
+ Arizona
+

(5) What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory?
+ June 25
+ September 30

(6) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
+ Ending a toxic relationship for good

(7) What was your biggest failure?
+ Working at this awful establishment & not leaving when I had the opportunity.

(8) Did you suffer from illnesses or injuries?
+ Fortunately not

(9) What was the best thing you bought?
+ I didn’t buy anything worthwhile this year except a plane ticket.

(10) Where did most of your money go?
+ to pay for my

(11) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
+ Namely the White Sox

(12) What song will always remind you of 2006?
+ Dakota by the Stereophonics. :(

(13) What album(s) will always remind you of 2006?
+I can’t come up with one.

(14) Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) Happier or sadder? I do not remember how I felt this time last year, but I know I was on Christmas vacation from college, so it was probably damn good. I’ll pass.
b) Thinner or fatter? Thinner, I think
c) Richer or poorer? Surely poorer; no more student loan money

(15) What do you wish you'd done more of?

+ Traveling

(16) What do you wish you'd done less of?
+

(17) How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
+ I’m unsure.

(18) Did you fall in love in 2006?
+ Yes. With life.

(19) What was your favorite TV program?
+ House Hunters on HGTV

(20) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
+ I don’t hate

(21) What was the best book you read?
+

(22) What was your favorite film of this year?
+

(23) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
+ I was 23. I cried and drank Bud Light alone part of the night, then sat on my front porch with my lovely boyfriend and best friend and we drank whiskey & diet Dr. Pepper

(24) What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
+ Cold, hard cash

(25) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
+ Comfortable. Or should I say, casual?

(26) What kept you sane?
+ My mother. She has also driven me to the brink of insanity several times.

(27) What is one thing you've learned this year?
+ If you display that you are truly happy, people will be happy with you.

2006-12-08T12:12:00.000-06:00

I haven't been around in a while. I actually came on here to make a list of pet peeves. I'm sure I will just add to it as time goes on...

1. time left on the microwave. is it so difficult to hit "clear" when you're done heating your sloppy joes?

2. girls who wear too much make-up. blush is supposed to be subtle. did you know that i saw you the other day at the dominick's on ashland with your mother? you weren't wearing make-up and you looked so much better than how you look on weekday mornings with garbage plastered all over your cheeks. get a clue.

3. extremely crowded bars where i feel old; i am only 23. i should not feel old in any drinking establishment.

4. unsolicited advice. especially when it comes from someone who has no room to talk. with the risk of sounding extremely cliche, i must say that everyone is different. do not criticize someone for their choices merely because you wouldn't have handled a situation the same way.

5. people who feel that they need to surround themselves with many other people - most of the time this includes shallow people who do not give a shit about said person to begin with. i don't have many friends, but i like it that way. i dont want to spend a lot of time keeping up with dozens of friends' lives. i have a hard enough time keeping up with the handful of friends i have.

6. this stems from the immediate above blurb - holding onto friendships that are obviously dead. why try to repair a relationship for the billionth time? shouldn't a person just go out and make a new friend with all that energy? hopefully a friend who is going to treat you much more appropriately than previous "dead" friend.

7. chauvinism.

8. to be continued

More OKCupid Stuff

2006-11-06T11:19:00.000-06:00

In honor of the election tomorrow:

You are a
Social Liberal
(80% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(18% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I'm Such a Good Girl. This Isn't Fair.

2006-10-27T10:46:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure that I like OKCUPID anymore. I mean, every time I take their main "okcupid test" I get a different score. The first time I took it, I got "the Intern" and now it says that she is my exact opposite.

So, here I am.

The Sudden Departure
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMf)

Sweet. Dear. Loving. At Gate 18. Final call.

You are The Sudden Departure.

You've been in a lot of serious relationships. More than a few have ended ugly. Uglily. Whatever. Our guess is that you're a really fantastic girl who doesn't really know what she wants, and you've broken a few hearts as a result. You fall for people easily, and you enjoy the feeling of falling in love, but once you're there, either boredom or the old "grass is greener" syndrome sets in. The mind wanders, and with it goes the flesh. And then the toiletries.

Your exact opposite:
The Intern

Deliberate Gentle Sex Dreamer

We know you're not the classic "love 'em and leave 'em" type, at least not in a purely sexual sense. You have too many serious bonding tendencies for that. But even though you're theoretically looking to settle down, you don't settle long on one person. "Serial monogamist" is probably something you hear a lot. "Emotionally loose" is another way to put it. To the poor guys eating your dust and sniffing your panties, it doesn't really make much difference. Of course, it's not really your fault that people get hurt. You have every right to move on when you choose.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Backrubber, The Gentleman

CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail, someone just like you

2006-10-17T14:56:00.000-05:00

I stole this off Craigslist MC's. I don't know if it's original. Maybe someone can tell me if they have seen it somewhere else. I kind of like it. Kind of idiotic, but cute. I corrected the spelling/grammar/punctuation mistakes and reformatted to suit my tastes.

Only blue skies and green grass would keep you in my grip
but surely time will tell
if false smiles and vivid love arewhat caused you to slip

Slip away
I don't say you could not possibly know the time
I'm late again, my friend, and you always say, "I'm fine"

But you're not
Why lie?
It's easy to see
I just only wish you could tell me.

The things you think when you stare in to my eyes
Is it me that you despise?

Shot down from the sky
cold and worried
waiting to die

2006-10-16T14:49:00.000-05:00

Lots of changes going on in my life lately. Mix that up in a shaker with a lack of Internet for nearly two weeks and you find yourself without an update.

I started posting this blog with a lot to say, but now I realize that I don't really have anything that isn't too personal to share with the world. Let's just say that I am really happy.

So, on that note: see ya!

2006-09-19T15:11:00.000-05:00

Blogger is having a "scheduled outage" at 4PM apparently.

The Sox need to win.

I turned my heat on this morning because it was freezing. What the fuck? I thought it was supposed to still be summer.

I scored some sweet Sox tickets for Thursday. Oh yes. Gosh.

My apartment is totally unliveable at the moment and I don't see how it will be ready for us to move in on Saturday.

I have a taste for some Cabernet Sauvignon. Which reminds me of a quote from Shopgirl with the burgundy wine @ the nice restaurant. Whatever.

I have a lot more to say, but my horoscope said I should keep it to myself for today. Let's see if that's possible.

2006-09-16T09:03:00.000-05:00

ENFP Relationships

ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiasm and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.

ENFP Strengths

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationships issues:

Good communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs
Usually loyal and dedicated
ENFP Weaknesses

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

Tendency to be smothering
Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
ENFPs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

On the entirely other end of the spectrum, many ENFPs have a difficult time staying focused and following things through to completion. If they have not focused on their ability to follow through, they may have problems staying in dedicated, monogamous relationships. They are so in tune with all of the exciting possibilities of what could be, that they will always fantasize about a greener pasture out there somewhere. If they are not paired with a partner who enjoys new experiences, or who shares their idealistic enthusiasm, the ENFP may become bored. The ENFP who is bored and who is not focused will be very unhappy, and will eventually "leave" the relationship if the problem is not addressed.

Since relationships are central to the ENFP's life, they will be very "hands on" and involved with their intimate relationships. They may be in the habit of constantly asking their partner how they're doing, what they're feeling, etc. This behavior may be a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship.

Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

Generally, the ENFP is a warm and affirming creature who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with their mate.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENFP's natural partner is the INTJ, or the INFJ. ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Introverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?

ENFPs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

ENFPs take their parenting role very seriously, but are also very playful. There's a bit of grown-up kid in every ENFP, so they get a lot of fun and enjoyment from playing with their children. However, they consider it essential to pass their strongly-held values and beliefs down to their children, and will strive consistently to create a positive, ideal environment for their children's growth.

The ENFP may exhibit an inconsistency in their roles with their children. At one moment, they might be their child's best friend, laughing and whooping it up, and in the next moment they may appear the stern authoritarian. This inconsistency seems to be a result of a conflict between the ENFP's genuine desire to relate to their children on the children's level, and their compulsion to follow their deeply-felt value system. In other words, the ENFP wants to be their child's friend, but if a value is violated, they will revert to the parental role to make sure their children understand the violation. This inconsistency may be confusing and frustrating for the children.

The children of ENFPs generally feel loved, because the ENFP gives their children plenty of genuine warmth and support. They usually value their children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. The ENFP's enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to their children. This will be especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, who will have a difficult time understanding the effervescence of the ENFP, and will feel at times embarassed by the ENFP's enthusiasm and tendency to display their affection publicly.

The ENFP is able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to softball practice, getting them fed, etc. However, it is a chore for the ENFP and is not a natural strength. The ENFP also has a difficult time disciplining their children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.

The rich imagination and creativity of the ENFP parent creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. The ENFP's strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. The ENFP parent is valued by their children for their warm, affirming natures, and their fun-loving approach to living.

ENFPs as Friends

ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.

In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. The ENFP will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case the ENFP may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, the ENFP may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.

For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP_rel.html

Very Superstious

2006-09-14T10:07:00.000-05:00

Sorry, but I had to post this because I am afraid of what will happen if I don't pass it along ;)

Good Karma

________________________________________
I N S T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements
involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

The mantra must leave your hands within 96 hours.

2006-09-11T11:17:00.000-05:00

Big Guy has been singing this song and whistling along. Quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard in a long time

2006-09-08T10:40:00.000-05:00

I don't think I live in the past. I think I live in the future. But whatev. I don't kill people for a living.

Which John Cusack Are You?

Moon in Libra

2006-09-06T15:30:00.000-05:00

You like to make friends. You are very sociable, and are attracted to people and situations that present you with a sense of balance. You look for partnership in all aspects of you life; love, business and friends. People consider you to be popular, affectionate and generous. In short, your life revolves around people. Usually it is just one person, a person with powerful persuasion over your life. Your love of people, company and sociality blinds you to others influence over you. Your judgement can often be swayed or affected by others. You have artistic potential, whether you have explored it or not. This explains your love for music, paintings, and fine arts in general. You have a good fashion sense, and hopefully your wardrobe expresses this. The Moon in Libra gives you a harmonious outlook on life. Partnership and balance are the key themes in your life. Someone else influences everything you do in your life. You are much more productive in the company of others.

____________________________________________________

find yours here here: http://www.ofesite.com/spirit/horoscop/moonsign/moonform.htm

2006-09-05T10:54:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this by saying that I love my mother more than anyone.

But Jesus H. Christ, can she cut me a little slack once in a while?

Last night she was telling me a story about something that happened to her and I was shaking my head the whole time and when she was done (no, I did NOT interrupt) I pleasantly disagreed with the conclusions she had drawn about the situation she outlined in her story.

No matter what I tell her she has something negative/kill joyish to say. So she starts telling me how pessimistic and negative I am! WTF! Anyone who knows me knows that I am probably the most optimistic/least cynical person around.

I swear that if I told my mom that I won a million dollars, she would say "well, you know you have to pay taxes on it, so it's almost not even worth it!!!"

"You guys should live on the first floor so that you don't have to move all that furniture up three flights."

"You know no one's going to want to help you move all that furniture up three flights of stairs!!!"

Something to Say

2006-09-02T14:47:00.000-05:00

It's like I am stuck in the relvoving door and I can't get out. Well, I can get out, but I just don't want to.

And it's one of those revolving doors that you have to push with all of your might to turn.

is someone getting the best the best the best the best of you?

2006-08-29T10:58:00.000-05:00

I was reading this Sylvia Browne book yesterday on the train and bus and I was laughing embarrassingly loudly to myself. I had to call A to make it look like someone on the phone was making me laugh because it was ridiculous. If anyone wants to borrow it, just let me know because it is incredibly amusing.

I am changing my profile picture on this blog because I know that it probably is really difficult for A to come on here and look at it. I mean, I can't believe I was being so disregardful (I don't care if that's not a word) all along. I guess it's because I felt that if I took away that kissy faced picture, I would be giving away that time period when things were simple. Things were easy and I was going to school knowing (thinking) that I would want to work at my current job after graduation making a living wage (I use that term loosely). I thought everything was going to stay the same - that I'd be spending my free time drinking $2 draft beers, talking about the world's problems and philosophy and walking my dog through the park to play in the tennis courts with other dogs. I thought I'd be able to smoke cigarettes forever without dying. I thought that I'd be standing up to my best friend's wedding. I thought that was real. It wasn’t. I thought I'd continue to get parking tickets once a week and wait by my e-mail for an update on what was in store for the future. I thought that I could continue on ordering pizzas from the Giordano's in Logan Square and pay for them with my debit card when they were delivered. I thought I would carry around my cigarette butts until the next garbage can for fear that I would get yelled at. I thought that there would be many more empty Christmases - and there were - but they weren't that bad. I thought that there'd be more meetings and margaritas. There were. And they tasted better. For real.

2006-08-28T12:46:00.000-05:00

I have been taking a peek at my old entries in this modest space on the net that I like to call my weblog. I noticed a number of depressing things.

One is that I used to write relatively well. I used to care about not only my grammar, word usage and spelling, but also language, context, content and stories. You know those stories… the ones that brought you onto the train or bus with me. Or better yet, into my base for a few minutes. This dates back to the things I wrote before the big “DELETE” that I had. I wish I could get those entries back. I used to be able to put my feelings on “paper”. Actually, I don’t think I have lost the ability to put things on paper; I believe that I have in fact lost the ability to feel all together.

I used to be so incredibly passionate. I was looking over my Friendster profile (thanks) and I had listed a slew of things that used to interest me. I had to delete most of them because I no longer give a flying fuck. I realized recently that I no longer give a flying fuck about much.

[And no, it’s not because I started hanging out with you. I don’t know if you remember this because you were so drunk, but I was complaining about how my brain is fading and you said it’s probably because I am hanging out with you. I would argue that you’re actually bringing back the old me – the one that enjoys herself. Anyway, here’s your shout out right in the middle of my blog entry that you asked for.]

Let me begin by pointing out that I work a job that rots my brain; I have no need to be creative here. It is not necessary for me to interact in a creative and socially acceptable fashion with those around me. It is all informal hurry rush speed to get things done that have deadlines at the last minute. Before the impending doom of a deadline sets in, it is mostly sitting around and teasing each other or trying to delve into each other’s personal lives. And most of the biggest offenders are gone right now.

I am going to try to write in my not-so-beloved blog more often so that I am not married to the fruitless tens of thousands of pages of rants and raves on Chicago’s craigslist.

Maybe I will go back to school in January. Maybe I’ll work on a Master’s program for some field into which I am not sure I want to venture. That will put me well into debt. I can finally see the light with regard to my debt; it’s not looking as dim anymore. And that’s comforting. Unfortunately, my brain is dimming as my debt is shrinking.

What the hell am I afraid of? Spending my time caring about people and causes only to get screwed over in the end? What is the point of that? Isn’t life for living? I am trying to live and feel like I used to, but in my old age I have become Kautious Kristy. I am afraid of feeling, caring and getting hurt. I am afraid of saying what I feel because I fear that I will not be taken seriously. Who am I to be so self absorped, anyway? I have it pretty good.

As my lovely Allman Brothers myspace song states, I Ain’t Wastin’ Time No More. This is it. This is life. And as a wise man once said, “if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”.

‘Cause All You Need is a Pretty Song

2006-08-22T11:58:00.000-05:00

It is twenty-five below zero in my office. My left eye itches – kind of like there is an eye lash in it or if I just made out with a big, fluffy cat to which I am allergic. My right eye is weepy. I keep rubbing both of them. I slept approximately 10 hours last night, but I am still sleepy. Or maybe my eyes are just tricking me into thinking that I am drowsy since they hurt so much and I don't want to keep them open.

Jen called to inform me that she in fact had not been kidnapped on the Metra SouthWest service line, but that she has the day off. Must be nice. I wish I were on vacation. Why is it that everyone is on vacation? Or planning a vacation? Why am I stuck here with my weepy eyes staring at this piece of crap computer? I swear I will reach the end of the Internet soon. What will I do then? Turn it off and read something corporeal? But what would I be doing at home? Watching Maury? Walking the dog? Eating? Napping? Well, all of that sounds ok right about now.

I know I sound like I am in a bad mood, but I’m really not. Life is pretty much all sunshine and puppy dogs for now. Thank God I don’t wear a watch; I would have already looked at it forty-seven times today. Yesterday went by so quickly.

you drive me crazy; i just can't sleep

2006-08-12T18:09:00.000-05:00

I thought purgatory was supposed to be temperate. It burns like hell!

And You're Far Too Kind

2006-08-04T11:59:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about the phrase "love is blind" lately.

I decided to look up the origin and of course, it came from Shakespeare:

The Merchant Of Venice

Here, catch this casket; it is worth the pains.
I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me,
For I am much ashamed of my exchange:
But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush
To see me thus transformed to a boy.

2006-04-04T23:06:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna tell my son to grow up pretty as the grass is green
And whip-smart as the English Channel's wide
And I'm gonna tell my son to keep his money in his mattress
And his watch on any hand between his thighs
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
'til I write my whole life story on the back of his big brown eyes

I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower
Till he learns to let his hair down far enough to climb outside

Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

2006-03-20T09:42:00.000-06:00

Post a comment w/ your answers. What do you think about these things?...

drama:

moving away from everyone you have ever known:

getting yourself pregnant with invitro fertilization (and single parenting):

dating while you're pregnant (if you're a guy, pretend you're female):

guys who are in bands into their middle 30s:

generic/ store brand foods (do you buy them? do you look down on those who do?):

juggling multiple boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time (none are serious):

the self esteem of young teenage girls (13-14):

organized religion:

expensive shoes (oh, and what's expensive to you?):

the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater":

bismillah ir rhman ir raheem

2006-02-01T09:54:00.000-06:00

Writing this letter to you. If I could, you know I would just hold your hand and you would understand...

Dont change your name; keep it the same for fear I may lose you again. I know you won't, it's just that I am unorganized and I want to find you when something good happens. If you come down, we'll go to town. I haven't been there for years, but I'd be fine wasting our time and not doing anything here - just doing nothing. I've been inclined to believe it never would. I'd go for broke if I could be with you. So, don't try to run up on my ear talking all that nasty shit and trying to ask me shit. I'm running out in the big city blinking. What was I thinking when I let go of you? Let us forget about the tongue-tied lightning. This is not a joke so please stop smiling.

What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?

2005-12-21T16:26:00.000-06:00

"Some of our arguments exasperated me. I couldn't deal with that on a regular basis. I'm too damned old."

What the...

2005-12-13T16:35:00.000-06:00

I just got a new message on Friendster a little while ago:

Lewis
Date: December 13, 2005 4:31:00 PM CST
Subject: hey ya!
Message: I saw your profile and thoght oh good i will do
anything to keep these two from kissing. i likred
the profile and am looking for someone with
features such as cleanliness, good compection,
clear eyes, good teeth and good hair, firm muscle
tone, and a steady gait.

ttyl

Here's his profile:

Male, 26, Single

Last Login : 3 days

Interested in Meeting People for: Friends

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Location: Harvey, IL

Friendster Member Since: Aug 2005

Note to self: Stay away from Gemini's from Harvey. Thanks.

RHG

2005-12-12T18:28:00.000-06:00

There's this guy who is known to A and I as "RHG". Red-Headed Guy. He's possibly the hottest man I have ever come across in my life. Many would concur on his hottness. He takes the Orange Line (sits in the first car like I do) & bus with me and lives less than a block away. Anyway, I haven't seen him for a long time. I've been checking him out for years now it seems. He's married and in his early thirties; he has seen me walking Stewie and thinks he is a "great looking dog", but then again, who doesn't think Stewie is THE MAN? I have a few other details about my beloved fantasy man, but I don't want anyone to think I am obsessed or anything...

Anyway, today I saw him for the first time in a few months. A and I had to stand on the train. We always get seats next to each other because we leave work five minues early everyday and race to the first car where no one sits (hint to CTA riders: there's always more room in the 1st car). I was feeling a little sick. I am attibuting the sick feeling to the MSG I had in my Chinese food at lunch. So whatever, I was weak in the knees to begin with from feeling nauseous from the food. and then I saw him. and then he said "hi". and then I died. The End.

birthday wishes (in order)

2005-11-29T09:02:00.000-06:00

all coming after midnight Central Standard Time
1. Michael - virtual (though he did call, too. My phone was downstairs and I was up. He has an advantage cuz it's 3 hours earlier there)
2. Adam - virtual (what? Was I expecting a phone call from China??)
3. Sneddy - virtual (is it your birthday yet? yes it is, Kevin. Thanks for remembering).
4. Jon - text message
5. Andrea - phone call (yes, she is ugly. Thanks for agreeing with me. Love you, too. Don't forget to remind DR).
6. Meg - phone call (OMG)
7. Mom - phone call (She's the only one that sang. Andrea attempted, but she was @ work and some people were coming in).
8. Brian - phone call (no, I didn't buy Jack O'Tack a high chair).

Not bad for 9AM!

Updated - 11:30AM

9. Craig - text message (Yummy chicken sandwiches for breakfast. I doubt your free hotel waffles were better).
10. Jenny - phone call (oh yeah. Chi Tung baby. Don't hate the player, hate the game).
11. Alicia - in person (woop woop I love talking about abortion).

do you know what its like to be an insomniac?

2005-11-06T06:03:00.000-06:00

Log file opened at: 11.6.05 1:14:28 AM

[1:14:43 AM:] X: so you ok or not
[1:14:48 AM:] Kristy: i think i'm getting ill
[1:14:56 AM:] x: stop it
[1:14:57 AM:] Kristy: on the way home i had tunnel vision
[1:15:01 AM:] Kristy: does that ever happen to you?
[1:15:07 AM:] x: when I'm real tired
[1:15:15 AM:] Kristy: like, i couldn't look @ anything but the tail lights of the car in front of me
[1:15:18 AM:] Kristy: and it was pouring
[1:15:29 AM:] x: that's scary. were you by yourself?
[1:15:31 AM:] Kristy: and then i was driving near my house and the street was semi flooded
[1:15:33 AM:] Kristy: i was smoking
[1:15:41 AM:] Kristy: and i had the window open about 1/4 way
[1:16:00 AM:] Kristy: a car went by and water went all over my windshield and into my car. i was soaked
[1:16:11 AM:] x: oh, fuck, poor kristy
[1:16:13 AM:] Kristy: it was great
[1:16:19 AM:] Kristy: yes, i was alone
[1:16:22 AM:] x: woke you up, i guess
[1:16:27 AM:] Kristy: yes
[1:16:30 AM:] x: lol
[1:16:40 AM:] Kristy: i loved it
[1:16:46 AM:] x: why
[1:17:06 AM:] Kristy: i dont know. it was scary for a sec because i couldn't see out of my windows
[1:17:07 AM:] x: tunnel vision, rain and soaked is not something I think of to love
[1:17:20 AM:] Kristy: but at the same time it was cool.
[1:17:41 AM:] x: You crack me up sometimes.
[1:17:51 AM:] Kristy: i stodd under my awning by my back door for a minute because the rain was pouring off of it
[1:18:00 AM:] Kristy: i figured if i was gonna get wet already, i may as well enjoy it
[1:18:06 AM:] x: cool
[1:18:07 AM:] Kristy: so i did
[1:18:12 AM:] x: I like rain

Has anyone seen "As Good as It Gets"? I think I am going to rent it today. How about "Shopgirl"? I saw it last night. Two thumbs up; it had quite and effect on me.

2005-11-02T21:00:00.000-06:00

love is a punch in the eye.
it’s a sudden and swift surprise.
it's not a candle, its not waiting to burn.
so baby, just wait your turn.
and when it hits you,
you'll see through rose colored apathy...
through the blues that bruise can leave.
was it really worth the wait?

Baby Jack Loves the White Sox

2005-10-29T13:30:00.000-05:00

Jack & Gramma

Jack looking curious

Smiling as usual

Playing patty-cake & laughing out loud!

His bib says "I'm a little White Sox Fan" (but my bro's hands are covering that part.

Believe!

2005-10-28T09:35:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a long time.

Coming soon will be photos from the second World Series game; I was one of the lucky ones who was in attendance. Also, I will be posting home videos from the southwest side near my house & Bridgeport!

I was at Midway yesterday for the White Sox homecoming. I was interviewed by the Chicago Tribune & the Associated Press. I don't know if I made today's paper or not. I will be posting photos from that, too!

Today is the celebration parade. I can see them setting up from outside our office windows. I believe our whole office will be in attendance during our lunch -- our boss want it that way :)

I still can't believe that they were IN the World Series, let alone that they actually WON it after 88 years.

My Condolences Go Out to My Baby Brother

2005-10-03T14:15:00.000-05:00

You're too cool and adorable for her anyway, Dave!

In other news, Go Go White Sox! I went to their rally today at Block 37 downtown. It was $money$.

I'm going to the game on Wednesday w/ my pops. He got stellar seats.

Congrats to my dad for making the Sunday Chicago Sun-Times.

Congrats to my nephew Jack for getting his first tooth at 3 months.

Its That Time Again

2005-10-01T20:58:00.000-05:00

Gloria, you're always on the run now
Running after someone, you gotta get him somehow
I think you've got to slow down before you start to blow it
I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it

You really don't remember, was it something that he said?
are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?
Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'?
If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody callin'?
don't you have to answer?
Leave them hangin' on the line, calling Gloria
Gloria, I think they got your number
I think they got the alias that you've been living under
But you really don't remember, was it something that they said?
all the voices in your head calling, Gloria?

Gloria, how's it gonna go down?
Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound?
Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the afternoon?
Feel your innocence slipping away, don't believe it's comin' back soon

Thought this was cute

2005-09-25T21:33:00.000-05:00

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong,
Who's not afraid to admit when he is wrong.

One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Know what to say when I ask "How fat is my behind?"

One who'll make love till my body's a' itchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never compare me to my best friend.

Thank you in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it's too late.

Amen

2005-09-14T18:23:00.000-05:00

In The Name Of God, The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate
What it is, what it is, what it is
What it is
What it is, what it is, what it is
What it is
See me, want me, give me, trust me
Feed me, fuck me, love me, touch me
This whole world is cold and ugly
What we are is low and lovely
I am the most beautiful boogie man
The most beautiful boogie man
Let me be your famous nightmare
Close your eyes and ill be right there
While...Open...All...Over...Again
See me, touch me, give me, want me
Feed me, fuck me, trust me, love me
This whole world is cold and ugly
What we are is low and lovely
I am the most beautiful boogie man
The most beautiful boogie man
Let me be your famous nightmare
Close your eyes and ill be right there
While...Open...All...Over...Again...Again
Again

Good Day Sunshine

2005-08-14T20:55:00.000-05:00

I need to laugh and when the sun is out
I've got something I can laugh about
I feel good in a special way
I'm in love and it's a sunny day

No, actually its a miserable day. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I have been sad for the last 30something hours.

White Sox vs. Red Sox

2005-07-24T22:11:00.000-05:00

24 July 2005

Johnny Damon before the game in the dugout

Varitek on deck. My favorite Red Sox player

Anthony John threw me a ball, but some fat slob stole it away. He loves me.

David Ortiz loves me. He kept looking at me and smiling. He winked and gave me the thumbs up sign. Yes, I love him now, too.

Johnny Damon's Butt

I kept calling him a fashion model. I used to hate him, but he is not that bad. Really.

Go Go White Sox Win!

Some serious stuff is wrapped in here

2005-06-14T14:20:00.000-05:00

I guess this is appropriate to post since... well... anyway...

A film is being made in honor of Janis Joplin's life as a musical artist. You will never believe who is playing her...

Renée Zellweger!

Anyway, the film is in the pre-production stages. I think that is a crazy pick for the lead role as Joplin; they're first pick was apparently the washed-up pop star "Pink".

Come to think of it, Renée was really good as Gina in Empire Records
and had a raspy singing voice. Maybe she can pull it off.

Joss Stone may have done a good job, too, but since she denied Tom Cruise of some booty, she is probably banned from Hollywood for life.

The film's title is Piece of My Heart.

SINCE YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT

didn't I make you feel like you were the only man
didn’t I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can
honey, you know I did…
and each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough
but I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough

I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,
take another little piece of my heart now, baby
break it
break another little bit of my heart now, darling
have another little piece of my heart now, baby
you know you got it if it makes you feel good
oh, yes indeed

you're out on the streets looking good,
and baby deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right
never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night
babe, I cry all the time
and each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain
but when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again

take another little piece of my heart now, baby
break it
break another little bit of my heart now, darling
have another little piece of my heart now, baby
you know you got it child, if it makes you feel good

Kristy, the Ash Tree

2005-06-14T09:30:00.000-05:00

Taken from: http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

You entered: 11/29/1983
You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Sagittarius.
Your Life path number is 7.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2445667.5.
The golden number for 1983 is 8.
The epact number for 1983 is 16.
The year 1983 was not a leap year.

As of 6/14/2005 9:28:40 AM CDT
You are 21 years old.
You are 259 months old.
You are 1,124 weeks old.
You are 7,868 days old.
You are 188,841 hours old.
You are 11,330,488 minutes old.
You are 679,829,320 seconds old.

There are 168 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles on it.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTU's,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.

Your birth tree is

Ash Tree, the Ambition
Uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes
to play with its fate, can be egoistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful
and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over heart, but takes partnership very
serious.

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

You can also see what your name says about you...

2005-06-13T18:05:00.000-05:00

This is an in-class activity I had to do today in my Anthro Lab and my responses

Rate Each of the following traits from 0 (irrelevant or unimportant) to 3 (indispensable) for how important they are to you in a mate:

ambition and industriousness - 3
chastity - 0
dependable character - 2
desire for home and children - 2 (eventually)
education and intelligence - 3
emotional stability and maturity - 3
favorable social status - 1 (not quite sure what this means)
good cook and housekeeper - 0
good financial prospect - 0
good health - 0
good looks - 2
love - 2
mutual attraction - 3
pleasing disposition - 3
refinement, neatness - 1
similar education - 0
similar religious background - 1
similar political background - 2
sociability - 2

LIST YOURS!!

...and I said what about a necklace from Tiffany’s?

2005-05-25T10:41:00.000-05:00

Going to the Chapel ...

I definitely fell asleep last night before the White Sox won in 2-1 in extra innings. I can’t complain though, because I have not been able to fall asleep lately.

I (the Kanticides) am still in 1st place in my Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball league.

My cousin just told me that my other (23-year-old) cousin is getting engaged. I must say that I am a bit jealous. I stress “bit”. I’m not particularly jealous of per se, but of the whole idea of getting it “out of the way”. Anyway, unnamed cousin was taking pictures of the engagement rings of everyone who was at a family gathering I missed this weekend. I think it was to be sure that hers was bigger. She is marrying her on-again-off-again multi-millionaire boyfriend with whom she breaks up multiple times per year. Which reminds me…

Last night I was talking to my friend Craig from Cleveland on instant messenger; I asked him if he wanted to get married eventually and he said “yes, of course”. That really surprised me, but it got me thinking about marriage as a custom. Why should you have to get married to have kids? I could easily raise a child more efficiently alone than with someone to whom I am married that doesn’t give a shit. He’d just make it more difficult.

Also, should love be the main reason to marry someone? I would not have a difficult time marrying a person for whom I only had tepid feelings. Making each other happy is more important. I used Craig’s parents as an example as they have been married for many years. I wondered if Craig’s mother would be capable of loving the man in line in front of her at the grocery store more than she loves her husband. It is possible, isn’t it? Married people don’t know because they are fixed in a binding legal contract with each other.

My mother and father were miserable together. Though his girlfriend and my father are now “on the outs”, as he says, he was much happier with her than with my mom. Should they have stayed married even though they disliked each other? Or better yet, should they have gotten married in the first place? How does one measure another’s worthiness of being capable of staying in a solid, helpful, cooperative marriage?

Summer Fun

2005-05-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

I start summer school next Monday. I'm taking a five-hour Anthropology Class called "The Human Adventure"; I'm sure it is going to f*cking SUCK.

I am thinking about going to Washington, DC for a weekend at the end of July. The Sox are playing Baltimore that weekend at Camden Yards. I want to stay near the Mall in DC or in Georgetown and hop a commuter to Baltimore for a game or two (or three!)

Is it just me or is Aaron Rowand striking out more than ever before.

Here's those long awaited hair pics that you've been e-mailing me about. I took these a few minutes after I got home from the appointment. Yes, I am wearing a Kerry Wood Cubs shirt in the photo. A friend bought it for me from a Salvation Army as a joke. I didn't care if it got bleached ;)

short message

2005-05-24T00:57:00.000-05:00

I did care; I do care and probably will for a long time.

but good luck. I'll think about you when I'm at Filter or the next time I'm in a hospital.

I Don’t Think You Realize How Big This Really Is…

2005-05-20T12:24:00.000-05:00

As you may or may not already know, this afternoon marks the beginning of the annual Cross-town Classic – Chicago Cubs vs. Chicago White Sox, North Side v. South Side or the Transplant Yuppies v. True Fans.

The White Sox lead the series 22-20 with a 13-8 record at home and 9-12 at Wrigley Field. The Cubs won last year's series 4-2 and swept the final three games at Wrigley. ... Twelve of the 42 games have been decided in the final at-bat.

The Sun-Times has given the Edge of the 3 game series starting in just over an hour to my very own Chicago White Sox.

Here’s MY break down:

First Base - Derek Lee over Paul Konerko. Lee’s .362 average & Golden Glove defensive capablitites surpass Konerko’s fridge-on-his-back speed and .211 batting average.
CUBS

_____________________________
Second Base – Red Hot Tadahito Iguchi (better known as Gucci at Comiskey) gets the edge over Todd Walker’s (rehab assignment) replacement Jerry Hairston, Jr. Gucci is the only Sox hitter batting over .300.
SOX

____________________________
Third Base – This is debatable. Aramis Ramirez has been sucking it up lately on the field with his injuries, but Joe Crede is not much better even though he’s not injured. Crede’s batting .256 with 3 HR and 15 RBI while Ramirez is batting .248 with 7 homers and 18 runs batted in. I’d still take Crede in the field over Ramirez. Last year, this would not even be examined – it’d automatically go to Aramis.
TIE

____________________________
Shortstop - Garciaparra’s alleged ‘roids injury hasn’t really hurt the Cubs as he was hitting .157 with only 4 RBIs before he got hurt. Neifi Perez has done a good job replacing him and is better with the glove than the Sox’ Juan Uribe. My vote goes with Neifi.
CUBS

____________________________
Left Field – Scott Podsednik, my dream man #2 after Rowand, leads the league with 24 stolen bases. His average ain’t too shabby either at .283. Hollandsworth & Dubois Suck.
SOX

____________________________
Right Field – Jermaine Dye sucks. Anyone is better. Including Jeremy Burnitz.
CUBS

____________________________
Center Field – Aaron Rowand is on a streak with hits in his last 12 games. He’s way hotter than Corey Patterson, too (sorry had to say it). Corey may have a better arm, but I think Rowand covers more ground and definitely has his heart in it.
SOX

____________________________
Catcher – AJ Pierzynski deserves a lot of credit for the great start the White Sox pitching staff has had thus far. He gets my vote over Michael Barret. Barret had a rough start, but has been doing well in the month of May. AJ’s average is better than Michael’s; he’s hitting a bit under Barret with a .266 average with seven homers and 16 RBIs. He makes up for it on the defensive end.
SOX

____________________________
Pitching – I’d take 8-win-Garland, Buehrle, Freddy, Hermie (has not allowed a run this season, 9 for 9 in save attempts AND on my Fantasy team), El Duque, Mr. Zero over Head Case Zambrano, Wood, Ryan Dempster, Chad Fox and Borowski (who the hell is that anyway) and everyone else the Cubs have tried ANY DAY OF THE WEEK
SOX BY FAR

____________________________

Managing – very objective, but Dusty Baker sucks. He’s not going to be around much longer. And screw his toothpick, too. Ozzie Ball seems to be working for the Sox. He has a bad mouth, but he shouldn’t have to park in the McDonald’s Parking lot on Addison during the Sox series at Wrigley. He’s gotta right to be pissed!
SOX

____________________________

I am wearing my Aaron Rowand jersey today at work. I just walked over to City Hall and got three high-fives for my attire. "You Go Girl!"

I can't wait 'til tomorrow!

“… and when it comes to baseball we’ve got two favorite clubs – the Go Go White Sox and whoever plays the Cubs” - Arranmore

Fuck Jay Mariotti

2005-05-06T09:51:00.000-05:00

My favorite prick Jay Mariotti writes for the Chicago Sun-Times and is the definition of a Sox hater.

Somehow, sizzling Sox getting the job done

May 6, 2005

BY JAY MARIOTTI SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST

You want to reach out and shake the White Sox just to confirm they're real, to make sure they aren't so many transparent Shoeless Joe Jacksons in ''Field of Dreams.'' That is the working curse, isn't it? If we always dwell on a goat in Cubdom, the fact is the Sox haven't won a World Series since they threw one in 1919, and any threat to such a wicked drought must stand the test of fraudulence.

So before I sit here on May 6 and recklessly say, sure, Hawkeroo, get that detached retina adjusted because the Sox are going all the way, allow me to remind you they've compiled 17 of their 21 victories against losing teams. And that six have come against the Kansas City Royals, baseball's losingest club and the only big-league flagship that might be inferior to its Class AAA affiliate. And that the Sox, for all their celebrated emphasis on manufacturing runs the right way, rank 24th in the majors in on-base percentage and -- imagine this -- dead last with a .217 average with runners in scoring position. And that 20 clubs have scored more runs so far. And that their two most accomplished run producers, Paul (.190) Konerko and Jermaine (.202) Dye, really stink right now.

I cite these numbers not to rile up the Blizzard of Oz and have him call me an Italian (bleep), but to remind everyone it's a long, long season amid a long, long history of Sox heartbreaks. The happy news is, this team is 21-7 despite its offensive problems, which suggests Ken Williams' daring transition to thinking-man's baseball -- Small Ball, Smart Ball, Snail Ball, Ozzie Ball, Anti-Magglio Ball, Ducksnort Ball -- is his most successful gamble yet in an otherwise lukewarm career as general manager. The shaky news is, can you really expect the Sox to maintain three trends that blow the mind and seem like myths waiting to be exploded?

Somehow, they have held a lead in each of their 28 games, breaking the record of the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers, a team that won the World Series and was dearly followed by a college student named Jerry Reinsdorf. Do you really think a team hitting .254 can maintain this? Isn't it a streak waiting for a five-run first inning and 9-0 awakening?

Somehow, they have won 12 of 15 one-run games, including a hocus-pocus, 2-1 victory over the Royals on Thursday. Can a credible bullpen continue to be out-of-its-mind efficient, especially when Shingo Takatsu is the closer and still capable of blowing leads -- eight saves with a 6.23 ERA? -- that give new meaning to those ''GONNNGGG!!!'' sound effects?

And somehow, the starting rotation has relinquished one run or fewer in 13 games, which ranks among the best streaks of early-season dominance in baseball history but simply isn't going to continue in any season, real or PlayStation. The Sox have a quality rotation, but any comparisons to all-time staffs should be tempered until they start facing the American League's best lineups.

Maybe this is long-overdue payback for 87 years of pain, a futility run that has been ignored nationally amid Red Sox literature and Cubbie tragicomedy. Maybe this is a magically conceived team with purring chemistry and the perfect attitude. ''This is not a fluke,'' reliever Dustin Hermanson declared. ''We're not playing well for just the first month.'' Or maybe it's just an unbelievable run of luck that will bite them in the butt when they start playing the best teams.

An Update for Those in "Readerland"

2005-04-25T14:48:00.000-05:00

After an e-mail from Sneddy confirming my existence, I decided it was time for an update.

Who's My Favorite Canadian, you ask?

I decided that my favorite Canadian is Avril Lavigne. I don't really even like her that much... I just like that stupid song -- her newest single (I believe):

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?

Don't leave me hangin'
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it, but we lost it
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

And for those of you wondering about my hair... yeah, I already have roots. It's growing out really bad. I don't have the $cash$ right now to get it re-done. I know everyone is sick of seeing pictures of my dog, but you know they're coming...

I've been swamped with school work as my semester is almost over.

We almost got in a car accident yesterday. Stewie got a slight head injury. He flew out of his carrier and hit the dash. He was seatbelted in, too. Semi ran us off the road. I thought I was dead meat.

Here's a picture of me from the Sox game last weekend. Please excuse the fact that I look like a moron:

and here's some pictures of pumpkin:

I love the White Sox!!

yes, he is wearing a hoodie & White Sox gear.

BEST IN THE MAJOR LEAGUES, BABY!

Quick Survey

2005-04-01T14:59:00.000-06:00

1. What time is it: 2:38 PM
2. Name on Birth certificate: Kristy Ann
3. Nicknames: Kristibelle, Krann, Krystal Lite, Missy.
4. Piercings: three
5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater: Robots - disappointing
6. Eye color: blue
7. Place of Birth: Chicago, Illinois
8. Favorite foods: Chinese, Mexican
9. Ever been to Africa? No.
10. Ever been toilet papering? No.
11. Love someone so much it made you cry?: Stupid question.
12. Been in a car accident?: Yes.
13. Croutons or bacon bits: Croutons.
14. Favorite day of the week: Saturday
15. Favorite restaurants: Leona’s in Cal City.
16. Favorite flower: Gerber daisies, though I have yet to receive any.
17. Favorite sport to watch: baseball
18: Favorite song: Beulah – A Good Man is Easy to Kill
19. Favorite ice cream: Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food.
20. Disney or Warner Brothers: Disney
21. Favorite fast food restaurant: Portillo's
22. What color is your bedroom carpet: dark green
23. How many times did you fail your driver's test: zero
24. Before this one, from who did you receive your last e-mail: Jon
25. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?: Does Amazon.com count? I’ve already maxxxed a card there.
26. What do you do most often when you are bored?: Play with my son or play the Sims (shut up) and dream about the way things could be...
27. Bedtime: 11PM
28. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest?: It is not an e-mail now.
29. How old are you?: 21. Too old to complete this survey.
30. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire?: Sneddy.
31. Favorite TV shows: Sex & the City, Seinfeld, the Brady Bunch, the Ashlee Simpson Show & Newlyweds.
32. Last person you went to dinner with: Joe, Jon & Liz
33. Ford or Chevy?: Chevy I suppose
34. What are you listening to right now?: What Will You Do When Your Suntan Fades?
35. What is your favorite color? Pink or Kelley Green
36. Lake, Ocean or River: ocean
37. How many tattoos do you have?: Zero, but may get one someday.
38. What are you going to name your children if you have them?:
Girls: Annabelle, Caroline, Mira (formed by grandparents’ initials) , Amelia, Marlee.
Boys: Declan, Aidan, Finnegan (Finn).
39. Give us some news: My brother was working on the basement at my mom’s house. He was holding a piece of dry wall and he shot a nail through his hand. He immediately yanked it out and called 911 and had to go to the hospital to get a tetanus shot.
40. Favorite recreation activity: shopping for my puppy and my unborn nephew, drinking ‘ritas on patios :)
41. Favorite place you have been: Cote d’ Azur, France
42. Place you would like to go: Boston this summer or London
43. Favorite Beverage: Pepsi over ice.
43. Preferred Pet: I’ll give you two guesses; Love my Stewie, but I am still partial to Labs.
44. Worst Food you've tasted: canned green beans or cranberry sauce. Ew!

2005-03-29T22:17:00.000-06:00

I think I've lost all of my readers because I slacked on posting and haven't gotten any comments on my real comment board of any substance. Oh well, that's what I get for allowing my world to fall apart.

This place really needs a Nice redesign. I wish my Japanese friend could help me, but he's too busy eating McDonald's fries with chopsticks...

Maybe I'll get on that alone and I'll have inspiration to start writing seemingly interesting entries. Until then, I will be removing Adam's Communist photo from Stewie's mouth.

I will post pictures of my hair as well. I really like it. Very manageable and looks like it has style even if its just air dried.

Anyone there?

2005-03-23T14:53:00.000-06:00

I'm on spring break.

I dyed my hair black and cut it (it is really cute).

I have no life.

I drank five Diet Cokes today and feel like energetic death.

I ordered my youth size 10/12 grey Aaron Rowand jersey from Grandstand yesterday. whawha?

I charged an iPod photo 30gb and bought a green 4gb mini for my brother.

I am selling my 3rd generation 20gb iPod for cheap. Make me an offer.

I Hate This Blog So Much

2005-03-16T11:25:00.000-06:00

But Eric wanted to see pics of my pup. I took these last night when he was sleepy. It's impossible to get any good photos during the day when he's running around.

goin' to the chapel

2005-02-28T11:35:00.000-06:00

I want to get married. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and I just have this marriage-fever. Its sick and disgusting and it makes me MAD! I want to trick someone into going to Vegas with me. We’ll stay at a nice hotel; I’ll pay and then we can just go to one of those little chapels and DO IT!

I’ll love you and spend your money while you work all day. I’ll hire someone to come walk the dog and play with him while I’m out spending your money.

Nope. Couldn’t do it.

A couple more rules:

1. We can’t be one of those couples that has Chinese food every Tuesday
2. Well, maybe just one more rule.

Introducing...

2005-02-16T12:19:00.000-06:00

Stewie aka Stinky aka Stooge

he gets down on the ground like this and Army crawls under furniture. After about two or three minutes, he realizes that he is going no where fast and remembers how to walk the right way

Love him!

Stewie, the only man to trust

2005-02-09T21:01:00.000-06:00

I'm leaving for Phoenix tomorrow evening. When I get back on Tuesday, I am getting my doggie, Stewie from this guy named Frank on the northwest side. I'll post pictures when I get back. I bought him a collar and tag with his name on it today as well as some food, dishes, an Odie toy and a miniature bone.

Subscribe, get your issue

2005-02-08T18:47:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting in my room on my bed with iVan the iBook and guess who IMs me on iChat. See below. He's in Chicago...

update 10:12PM: he's still lame.

lights go out and i can't be saved

2005-02-02T18:54:00.000-06:00

"They say there's a heaven for those who will wait. Some say it's better, but I say it ain't. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints... the sinners are much more fun."

During my commute home this evening, I got to thinking about what I horrible person I have become in the last few years. And nearly all of it can be attributed to one person... Matt a.k.a. my first love a.k.a. The One That Got Away.

Before I met Matt I was a nice little Catholic girl with values and morals. In no way am I saying that I was a Republican with Republican morals. I was eighteen and he was two months away from being twenty-five. He inspired me to get my fake ID. He never suggested it, but I was sick of trying to go to bars with him and nearly getting kicked out. Many times I gave the waitress or doorman pleading eyes and they let me stay, but served me kiddie cocktails instead of the black and tan I ordered. Often times we would go out after work and I would know it was coming. I would think about for the duration of the work day and wonder whether or not I would have luck at the particular bar he chose.

He had an east coast accent -- I would just say it was that of a person from Philadelphia, but I don't know if those accents are distinct enough. He was full of chivalry and insisted to walk on the street side no matter what. He may sound like a jerk who was just trying to show-off, but it wasn't like that. He called me at work when he was out of town and we would talk for hours long distance. I was failing at work.

I drove to his apartment one evening after work in my beat-up 1990 rusty Cavallier and we walked to a Mexican restaurant around the corner from him. I was all skanked out in some jean skirt and hooker boots with a white shirt that my friend Amy and I swore by (meaning any guy we wore it around always complimented us; we shared the shirt). Anyway, I had too many margaritas and nothing to eat. Every time I would get up to go to the bathroom he would stand up and every time I came back he would do the same. His parents were rich and we ran into them a few times while we were walking around his neighborhood, as he lived a few blocks from them. They were nice, but I could tell, especially in the case of his mother, that she was wondering what the hell he was doing with me... the 18 year-old freshman.

I would sneak home from school ninety miles my freshman year to spend entire weekends with him. We never did anything except go to movies or bars and I didn't care. I loved him and his leather gloves and his blue eyes. I would never want to leave; I'd stay Sunday nights and leave Monday and miss my classes. At this point he didn't have a job (and I didn't care). I was so blinded by how cool he was and all the crazy things he said to me. When I didn't have a car at school I would beg my friends for rides to see him.

The most memorable time was when he picked me up from one of the northern suburbs. I had hitched a ride with my R.A. to her house. He borrowed his parents car to get me from there. We sat in rush hour traffic for three hours and I DIDN'T care. I got kicked out of Binny's Beverage Depot in Lincoln Park for not having a valid ID. I lied to my friends and family and spent an inconceivable amount of time with him. I was obsessed. I would puke and cry after he would walk me to my car and I would be on my way back to Bloomington, Illinois or wherever I was staying. I went to D.C. for Spring break that March I was dating him with Amy and we went to the bar in Georgetown where he worked... on 31st & M. We went to the bar where he mentioned (ultra briefly) his best friend worked as a bouncer. The goal was to set my best friend up with him. He had a girl hanging all over him the whole time though. It was a crazy few months that I will never forget as long as I live.

When I was at school and away from him, I played the song "Clocks" by Coldplay over and over because it reminded me of us. I talked with him on Instant Messenger all the time and refreshed my e-mail every twenty-five seconds in anticipation of a note from him.

Restaurants, songs, bars, streets, cigarettes and beginning to smoke -- everything overwhelmingly reminded me of him for a long time. It has slowly dimished. Now I wish him well and hope I get to see him again, at least once, to thank him. And all along I thought I that he was "it". And all along I was just a naive little girl in a big relationship that was going no where fast.

Celery & ham

2005-01-29T14:55:00.000-06:00

Is everyone sick? I have been sick for the past week. You know, all the good stuff like runny nose, sleeping uncontrollably (like I have narcolepsy), nausea. I took the day off of school on Tuesday. I only go to school twice a week so I missed a lot.

I've been baking a lot. Right now I am sitting at the kitchen table waiting for my peanut butter and chocolate cookies to cool so I can eat one. I am a fat slob Everyone in my house is on a diet. My mom is on South Beach; she started it two weeks ago and already lost fifteen pounds. My step-dad is on strict Atkins. He hasn't looked at a carb in two weeks. He has also lost fifteen pounds. My stick figure of a brother is on a diet for tennis. He's just cutting out the junk food. I swear, he's 6'7" and two hundred pounds. He's thin.

In other news, I am obsessed with craigslist. Whenever I am bored I look at the free stuff, stuff for trade, event tickets, etc. You should check it out if you haven't already. Do this: www.yourcity.craigslist.org (of course, use the major city by which you live).

My brother is finishing our basement. He's putting walls up, a hot tub and crap like that. They hit some wire down there and now our doorbell keeps ringing. Its freaky.

gmail invites

2005-01-23T14:42:00.000-06:00

My friend at work sent me a gmail account invite on Friday. I sent out some invites to everyone I know (in real life) who wanted one. If anyone reading this wants one, post a comment with your e-mail address and I'll send it. If you don't know what it is, don't ask me for one.

i am a big loser

2005-01-23T13:44:00.000-06:00

I just got done shoveling the stairs and walkway leading up to my house. The funny thing about my family is that they freaking snowblow (yes, we have one; I'm embarassed about it, too) the entire sidewalk and everywhere that no one walks, but they never do the front stairs. Do you have any idea how GHETTO it looks when the snow is a foot high on the stairs. No one uses our front door, especially not during the winter. I have never used the front door of any house or apartment I have lived in. "Apartment?", you ask... yes, there was a law for a while stating that each apartment with more than one bedroom had to have two entries. I used the one that didn't come into the living room. :)

There was a blizzard in Chicago yesterday. I think we got about 14 inches where I am. I heard that the closer to the Lake you were, the more snow you had.

Football today. I am lookinng forward to it. Just another reason for me not to read the books I am required to read:

The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon is one. So far, I hate it.

I did something incredibly stupid. I had been meaning to drop a class that I'd never been to since the semester began. See, I wanted to take at least 18 credit hours this semester. I didn't think it would be that big a deal, but it was. I don't think I would have had a problem with it if it were spread out over the week, but I was set to go Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8AM to 4:45PM. It's rough. By 1:45PM I was tired and had to drag myself through the Sociology class I had at 2PM.

So anyway, I didn't drop the class. I kept putting it off, trying to decide if taking it (or actually attending it once) would be in my best interest. I missed the drop date and now in order to get out of it I'd have to take a W on my transcript. I don't really know much about it and I'm not sure exactly how that would look to law schools. I guess I have a decision to make.

I'm fat. I am going to begin starving myself today.

A Few Questions

2005-01-18T21:24:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about these things recently...

Why do most men and women innately pair off and feel stupid and worthless without a significant other?

Am I going to get into a decent law school far away from here, preferabley on the east coast?

Can Pharrell Williams be any hotter?

Did you know that he did a public service announcement for PETA? Anyway, here it is... http://www.peta2.com/ot/pharrell.html

Is it possible for it to be any fucking colder outside?

Isn't Barack Obama the coolest?

Have you ever seen anyone at a party or at a bar truly "drop it like it's hot"?

What exactly does that look like?

Is a little piece of paper from UIC worth going to school for eighteen hours a day for at least four years?

What the fuck is the purpose of the electoral college?

Do you have an idea of what it's like to quit smoking?

Who is one person that is universally admired?

Why is reverse discrimination unacknowledged?

Is it possible to invent a road salt that does not make my black car look like shit?

Can my brother's dog be any cuter? Look.. he's winking and wearing a bow for Christmas.

What kind of dog should I bring back from Arizona?

a yorkie

a maltese

a long-haired chihuahua

or a Cavalier King Charles (like Charlotte York's Elizabeth Taylor)

this took me an hour

2005-01-17T11:43:00.000-06:00

Name: Kristy
Nickname: Kristibelle, Kristianne
Birthday: November 29
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois

=Now=

Current mood: Sleepy.
Current music: None
Current taste: None
Current hair: against my pillow
Current clothes: Some tennis t-shirt from Lewis University and black sweat pants (pajamas)
Current annoyance: work, though I have the day off today
Current smell: nothing at all
Current thing I ought to be doing: taking a nap so the rest of my day isn’t ruined
Current windows open: MSWord, Safari, iChat
Current desktop picture: some leopard skin thing, but as soon as Adam sends me the grass picture he took, it will be that
Current favorite band: the Libertines
Current book: An Unfinished Life: JFK’s biography by Robert Dallek
Current cd in stereo: I don’t have a stereo
Current crush: Pharrell
Current favorite celeb: Kanye West
Current hate: school, work, the weather

=Do I=

Smoke?: I have been pretty successful at quitting in the last week. I’ve only had two.
Do drugs?: No
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Used to when I was little, but not anymore
Remember your first love?: MDM
Still love him/her?: Luckily, I’ve avoided all opportunities to spend time with him in the last two years, otherwise yes, I probably would.
Read the newspaper?: Yes, Washington Post online and the Tribune on the train.
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: a couple
Believe in miracles?: no
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: If you wanted to be, yes.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: no, I hate everyone.
Consider love a mistake?: huh?
Like the taste of alcohol?: Some
Have a favorite candy?: Toffee
Believe in astrology?: Yes
Believe in magic?: No
Believe in God?: No
Have any pets: No, my doggie died, but I want to get a new one
Go to or plan to go to college: Yes. I am currently a student.
Have any piercings?: Ears, belly button
Have any tattoos?: nope.
Hate yourself: not particularly
Have an obsession?: yes
Have a secret crush?: believe me; he’s no secret
Have a best friend?: No
Wish on stars?: No
Care about looks?: in what way? Dirty looks?

=Love life=

First crush: Ken with the mullet in first grade or Daniel Mesch

First kiss: Chad
Ever been in love?: once or twice
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yeah, but it can be ruined
Do you believe in "the one?": There’ s more than one
Describe your ideal significant: cute, smart and attentive

=Word association=

Rubber: band
Rock: out
Green: kelley
Wet: ones
Cry: ing
Peanut: butter
Hay: is for horses
Cold: brrr
Steam: iron
Fast: en
Freaky: Friday!
Rainy: days
Bite: me
Fuck: you you asshole
Blow: me!

--APPEARANCE:--

Hair: boring
Eyes: blue
Height: 5'4"

--LAST THING YOU:--

Bought: two shirts and a pair of pants
Ate & Drank: brownies
Read: some weblog
Watched on tv: sex and the city season 6 part 2 disc 2

--EITHER / OR:--

club or house party: house
beer or cider: beer
drinks or shots: drinks
cats or dogs: Dogs
pen or pencil: pencil
gloves or mittens: gloves
food or candy: Food
cassette or cd: CD
coke or pepsi: PEPSI IS THE BEST. FUCK COKE. FUCK YOU!

--WHO DO YOU WANT TO:--

kill: Um. I’m 18 so I can get arrested if I say (my mom always tells me that)
get really wasted with: Adam; three beers should do it.
look like: you and your mom put together
be like: myself
avoid:

--LAST PERSON YOU—

talked to: my mother
instant messaged: Nick
kissed: you

--WHERE DO YOU—

eat: wherever
cry: in my car, mostly
wish you were: somewhere warm on vacation

--HAVE YOU EVER...—

Dated one of your best friends? Yes. Twice.
Drank alcohol? Yes
Done drugs? Maybe
Broken the law? Yes
Run away from home? I used to pack up my doll stroller with a bunch of stuff I thought I’d need like stuffed animals and my toothbrush. Then, I’d walk down the block someone would run after me. I ALWAYS knew where I was going though; I always had a plan
Broken a bone? No, never
Played Truth Or Dare? Yes
Kissed someone you didn't know? Yes. A ridiculous, embarrassing amount of times.
Been in a fight? Yes

Come close to dying? Don’t think so.

--WHAT IS:--
The most embarrassing CD in your collection? Ashlee Simpson
Your bedroom like?: it’s purple and has a ton of shit in there.

favorite thing for breakfast? pizza

favorite restaurant?: Leona’s

RANDOM QUESTIONS--

What's on your bedside table?: I don’t have one. It’s a computer desk.

what do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: I never ever do that.

What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: I never cry.

If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?: something to make my profile better, lipo

What is your biggest fear?: raccoons.

Do you ever have to beg?: Not usually

Are you a pyromaniac?: No

Do you have too many love interests?: Nah
Crushes? Famous people
Do you know anyone famous?: Ron Santo
Describe your bed: the best
Spontaneous or plain?: Spontaneity rules
Do you know how to play poker?: yes
What do you carry with you at all times?: My phone, wallet, and keys
How do you drive?: like a superstar

What do you miss most about being little?: Swimming, eating disgusting food, my old house and backyard
Are you happy with your given name?: No. It’s lame

How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?: a lot
What color is your bedroom?: purple
What was the last song you were listening to?: some stereophonics song

Do you talk a lot?: Yes
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?: Sometimes
Do you think you're cute?: Not particularly
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? No, i feel bad for them.

Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: Rarely. No pun intended ☺

Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends?: mostly alone ☺ in my car or otherwise
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or lesbians holding hands?: good for them for not caring

Love Chicago Weather

2005-01-14T11:17:00.000-06:00

Last night I booked a flight to Phoenix. I leave in the evening on Friday, February 10th and coming home on Monday, February 14th. Monday is Lincoln's birthday and therefore I have the day off.

I started my Spring semester on Tuesday. I am going to school Tuesdays & Thursdays from 8AM to 4:45PM straight through. I haven't been to my last class because it was cancelled all this week; I'm sure I will be dropping it, though. I can't stand going straight through that long. My stomach growls in class and it is embarassing.

It is so fucking cold outside today. I was waiting for the bus for 20 minutes (fuck you CTA) and I could hardly think. My brain froze.

The guy who bought my eMac came over yesterday with his money order and brought his friend; his friend asked me to be his roommate. It was weird.

Little Ben

2005-01-11T22:49:00.000-06:00

I'm lying in my bed using my built-in AirPort extreme on my new iBook. I love it.

I am talking to my ex-boyfriend from high school Chris on iChat and he is in an unhealthy relationship with a woman who also happens to be the mother of his son. Ben. I really want to see the little rugrat because I haven't yet. Hell, I haven't seen Chris in probably a year -- but we keep in touch. Apparently she won't let Chris take little Ben out of her sight. Sucks for me, but mostly it sucks for him.

I am going to update this later with a cute picture of little Ben (after his horrible father finds a recent one to send me! :) )

iBook!

2005-01-07T19:17:00.000-06:00

I purchased my iBook G4 today from Amazon.com, so if you have it on order from my wish list, I'm sorry, but you will have to return it and just give me the cash.

1.33GHz PowerPC G4
512K L2 cache @ 1.33GHz
14-inch TFT Display
1024x768 resolution
256MB DDR266 SDRAM
60GB Ultra ATA drive
SuperDrive
ATI Mobility Radeon 9200
32MB DDR video memory
AirPort Extreme built-in

I'm upgrading the RAM as soon as I CAN!

Election Problems

2005-01-06T14:54:00.000-06:00

I was listening to the ritual/tradition of the Senate certifying Electoral College votes this afternoon on CSPAN when the Democrats (except Barack Obama and Dick Durbin , to name a few) began to protest against the election process that failed many Americans, including long lines, non-functioning ballot counters, intimidation, ballots, etc. Every vote must count and every vote must be counted.

Jan Schakowsky (D-Illinois) is fed up with voters being denied the right to vote and objected to the counting of Ohio’s votes.

What can we do about this? Not get over it. Not move on. Not say that we are doing the best we can. It is our patriotic duty to stand up for every voter no matter his or her race or party affiliation. A national demand for electoral reform and promotion of Help America Vote Act is needed. The government must be held accountable for letting intimidation and tampering occur in polling places. The election results should not be reversed, but the point being made should be recognized.

If there is a receipt available at stores and ATM’s to prove purchase, there should be a receipt available for computerized polls. Election Day should become a national holiday. Why do we have the day off for Presidents’ Day if our founding fathers are rolling over in their graves thinking about what is happening to this country?

Barbara Boxer (D-California) and Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D-Ohio) led the debate.

Boxer

Tubbs Jones
"I have concluded that objecting to the electoral votes from Ohio is the only immediate way to bring these issues to light," Ms. Boxer said in a letter to Representative Stephanie Tubbs Jones of Ohio, a leader of the Democratic challenge.
"The goal is to debate the issue," Tubbs Jones told The Associated Press. "And why not? We go across the world trying to ensure democracy, but there are some problems with the process in the United States."
Exactly. Why are we worried about democracy in Iraq when they don’t want it? I think I speak for everyone when I say WE WANT DEMOCRACY and we should be able to talk about it if we want to. Boxer, Tubbs Jones and every other democrat in both houses of the United States Congress has a right to bring these issues to light without being called a “sore loser”.
Oh, and fuck Tom DeLay. This is not a bunch of noise and it is not ludicrous.

New York Times article here

2005-01-05T16:27:00.000-06:00

I walked four blocks from work to the bank and then to the James R. Thompson Center Hallmark. When I walked into Hallmark, I touched the top of my head to discover that, to my surprise, there was fucking ice cubes attached to my scalp. What? Yeah, it’s hailing/sleeting/snowing or just plain old pelting from the sky. My face had welts on it from the hail bashing against my face while walking through Daley Plaza. Oh, and the new shoelaces I bought from H&M for my pink Roos
kept coming untied even when I double knotted them; they’re obviously too thick. Have you ever tried to tie your shoes while talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette and wearing gloves? I have.

I think I am just going to go out drinking alone after work until rush hour is over. This is ridiculous.

California Dreamin'

2005-01-04T12:54:00.000-06:00

I have yet to see this kid in person...
Liam

Caleb

Caleb's wearing the White Sox outfit we got him :)

this is my fave

Fun Stuff

2005-01-03T10:48:00.000-06:00

What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
I bought a brand new car

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No. I vowed to stop smoking. I do. And this year I did not make a new year’s resolution, but I have some things I know I am going to work at.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes; We have Liam John and Zachary Ryan

What countries did you visit?
None; I am a loser.

What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Real goals and a good GPA

What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 5th, December 18th, December 25th, December 31st,

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
don’t know

What was your biggest failure?
Instead of quitting, I began to smoke more.

Did you suffer from illnesses or injuries?
Nothing worth mentioning

What was the best thing you bought?
Benny the Jet

Where did most of your money go?
Car payments, food, public transportation and cigarettes

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My car, babies.

What song will always remind you of 2004?
Got My Mind Set On You – George Harrison

Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? sadder b) thinner or fatter? fatter c) richer or poorer? poorer

What do you wish you'd done more of?
reading, studying, attending class

What do you wish you'd done less of?
smoking, crying, panic attacks

Did you fall in love in 2004?
no.

How many one-night stands?
what?

What was your favorite TV program?
sex and the city

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes.

What was the best book you read?
It's embarassing how little I read.

What did you want and get?
Peace with myself. But then I gave it all away again.

What did you want and not get?
to get off anxiety meds.

What was your favorite film of this year?
Donnie Darko – the Director’s Cut

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to Lawlor’s on Archer on my birthday, but the festivities continued for days. I turned 21. I think you saw the pictures.

What one thing would have made your year measurably more satisfying?
My brother and sister-in-law are having a baby. I found out on Christmas and that makes me immeasurably happy.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
I have no one to impress.

What kept you sane?
My friends.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kanye West

What political issue stirred you the most?
Abortion rights and the Iraqi war.

Who did you miss?
No one.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
It’s pointless to make plans.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
What if somebody from the Chi was ill got a deal on the hottest rap label around
But he wasn't talking bout coke and birds it was more like spoken word
Except he really putting it down
And he explained the story about how blacks came from glory
And what we need to do in the game
Good dude, Bad night, Right place, Wrong time
In the blink of an eye his whole life changed
If you could feel how my face felt you would know how Mase felt
Thank God I ain't to cool for the safe belt
I swear to God drive a two on the sue
I got lawyer for the case to keep what’s in my safe, safe
My dogs couldn't tell if I
I looked like Tom Cruise on Vanilla Sky
It was televised
There’s been an accident like Geico
They thought I was burnt up like Pepsi did Michael
I must gotta angel
Cause look how death missed his ass
Unbreakable, What? You thought they called me Mr. Glass?
Look back on my life like the ghost of Christmas past
Toys R Us where I used to spend that Christmas cash
And I still grow up, I'm a grown ass kid
Swear I should be locked up for stupid shit that I did
But I'm a champion, so I turned tragedy to triumph
Make music that's fire, spit my soul through the wire

My Demise

2005-01-02T12:40:00.000-06:00

Looks like I'm starting fresh. More later on that. Excuse me while I'm under construction for the next couple of days. Come back, though! Please!