Let me preface this by saying that I love my mother more than anyone.

But Jesus H. Christ, can she cut me a little slack once in a while?

Last night she was telling me a story about something that happened to her and I was shaking my head the whole time and when she was done (no, I did NOT interrupt) I pleasantly disagreed with the conclusions she had drawn about the situation she outlined in her story.

No matter what I tell her she has something negative/kill joyish to say. So she starts telling me how pessimistic and negative I am! WTF! Anyone who knows me knows that I am probably the most optimistic/least cynical person around.

I swear that if I told my mom that I won a million dollars, she would say "well, you know you have to pay taxes on it, so it's almost not even worth it!!!"


"You guys should live on the first floor so that you don't have to move all that furniture up three flights."


"You know no one's going to want to help you move all that furniture up three flights of stairs!!!"